Lloydian's Notes

It's the Little Things

2009-08-17T13:01:00.003-07:00

I went out to eat with friends on Saturday night. One of the attendees has not seen me in a few months, and when she arrived (she was the second of our group to arrive), I called out her name. She looked around to see who was calling, so I called again. This time she looked at me and verified that she was the person whose name I was calling. I told her I knew that and jokingly told her my name. She looked closer and studied my face, and finally it dawned on her that I was who I said I was.

That was a great feeling! Apparently, losing 190 pounds is noticeable.

My Life Story

2009-08-05T09:55:00.002-07:00

I've decided to try to note my history. If family members see it, I may piss some of them off, I may give them info that they didn't know before, but I think my life has some great stories in it. If you're interested, go to http://eatlessandexercise.blogspot.com/.

I'm not even original anymore

2009-07-30T14:44:00.002-07:00

This afternoon, I found myself feeling a bit, well, empty of thought. I keep thinking that something must come to me at some time, but it just isn't happening. Then I thought I'd come here, post something, and just hope there was some meaning to say. I wanted to use the heading, "I have nothing to say," but as I started typing that, I found that I've used that entry before.

Oh, well, I still don't have a thing to say, but I've now spent better than a paragraph even relaying that thought.

It's Thursday, which means it's pool night, but even that isn't an original thought since Tuesday or Wednesday would have been pool nights as well. I'm getting stir crazy. How do other people deal with this feeling? Nothing! Sorry for wasting your time.

3/4 Complete

2009-07-27T10:47:00.003-07:00

When I started my weight loss push just over 13 months ago, I knew I was committed to getting it done, but I had experienced that commitment before without the results I'm seeing now. I shall now attempt to pat myself on the back without breaking my arm. Since my start at 440 pounds on 6/23/2008, I am down 181 pounds to 259. All without surgery.

I Am AWESOME!

2009-07-21T13:38:00.004-07:00

Okay, I haven't posted in quite a while, but life has continued for me.

No, my love life hasn't improved. The woman I love (I sure wish it could be "used to be in love with") has decided she is ready for love again, just not with me. I'll be a victim of love for the rest of my life, I think.

But that wouldn't make me awesome. Let me explain.

Until June of last year, I was fat. And I don't mean that in some cool sort of way, I mean it literally. I was fat. Wait, this is the Internet. I can prove it. Here's a picture of me before the first game played at what is now called University of Phoenix Stadium. It's from August of 2006 before the preseason game against the Steelers.

That's me at 440 pounds. Of course, when you weigh that much, it's hard to find places with scales that can actually weigh you. For me, it was the VA hospital that put me on a scale that, I think, could handle a man in a wheelchair.

This was simply a case of not caring. I wasn't looking for love, my kids didn't look down on me (hey, I'm their dad), and I have a good job. Besides, losing weight would mean losing all the good food I love to eat and probably exercising occasionally. No thank you.

But a tragic thing happened along the way, not to me, but to someone I cared about. Jorge Lopez owned the APA franchise for the Phoenix market. APA (for those who have never heard of it) is a national organization for amateur pool. I started playing in 2003 and have continued ever since. But Jorge was also overweight. His total number of pounds may have been lower than mine, but he was also a physically smaller person, so we had about the same build. Adding to his troubles, Jorge was a smoker and had enjoyed his share of alcohol in his life, two things that were not a part of my life at the time (I don't smoke, but I can enjoy an occasional shot of Patron). In mid-June of 2008, Jorge passed away.

That made me sad, but not enough to change my life. For that, I had to hear the shock of Tim Russert's death. His was not blamed on his weight, but his weight was not properly in check. The two men died 8 days apart from each other.

My youngest was just two months away from starting her college career, and suddenly I worried that I would miss important parts of her life. I decided to change. Sure, I've decided to change at other points in my life, and I failed. Why it worked this time, I'm not sure, but it worked.

Starting on June 23rd, I changed my ways. I altered my eating. Since I knew that I'd still be eating out regularly, and since I've never been good at counting calories, I decided not to do that. Instead, I adopted an attitude of not doing stupid things. My food rules:

No ground beef. An occasional steak was fine, but I do not eat ground beef.
No cheese intensive foods. This means no pizza, no nachos, no quesadillas.
No deep fried foods. No french fries, no potato chips (though I allowed myself baked chips), no buffalo wings (funny side story on the buffalo wings: for the first four months, I didn't know they were deep fried and ate them every Tuesday at Native New Yorker).
No desserts. None, zilch, nada. I don't even do "healthy" versions of dessert.

But that's not all. I also decided to start exercising twice a day. I live alone in a three bedroom house, so I converted one of the bedrooms to an exercise room. At first it was a recumbent bike with a portable DVD player on a TV dinner tray. Four months in, the bike was no longer challenging me, so I got an elliptical machine. Two months after that, I added a flat screen TV on the wall and a weight lifting bench. Finally, I put in a universal gym for weightlifting.

Unfortunately, I still shoot pool three nights a week, and I don't get home until around 10:00. Combine that with a 5:30 wake up for the morning exercise, and I didn't have time to exercise in the evening when shooting pool. To eliminate this excuse, I joined Bally Fitness at 59th and Peoria. Now, Tuesday through Thursday, I get my evening exercise halfway between the office and the pool hall.

A couple of months ago, the elliptical machine broke. I priced a new (nice quality) one at Costco for $740, and decided to join a gym near home instead. So now I belong to two gyms having added the Surprise location of Mountainside Fitness.

But what kind of results did I get? I'm certainly not done with this process. At first, the weight seemed to just be melting off. For the first three months, I averaged a pound per day. It's kind of funny, by the way, how you can tell people about all the weight you've lost, and their reaction is often one of offering advice on how to lose more weight. I've learned how to politely ignore since then.

There have been plateaus. I hovered at 300 pounds for quite a while around the time of the Super Bowl, but I was so happy to be only 300 at the time since it meant I fit on all the roller coasters at Universal's Islands of Adventure.

But then came another incentive, this one in the form of competition. My gym has a contest going to see who can lose the most weight (and inches at the belly button) during the period of July 1 through September 30. I intend to win. Since the contest started, I'm down another 14 pounds (in 20 days), and as of today, I'm at 262. A more recent photo doesn't exist yet, but I'll find one eventually.

Now to fix my love life.

Frustration

2008-12-29T15:33:00.002-07:00

Recognizing that there is likely only one person who ever reads these entries (me, of course), I feel the need to do a little virtual bloodletting. Perhaps the experience will allow me to move on from the dead end my life seems to be and move on to more productive pursuits. For that matter, the new year is a reasonable time to attempt to move in a different direction.

I've long had a strange envy of people I have no respect for. Odd as that may sound, it's rooted in the apparent ease with which some people are able to manipulate the emotions of others to their own advantage, a talent which I lack.

While the emotion of love is the easiest to relate to (and the one which motivates me currently), this is by no means the only arena where people of this ilk are likely to thrive. And to some extent, it appears that a lack of concern for the feelings of others improves the ability to succeed in those areas where I wish I had more pull.

It's summed up in the adage, "Nice guys finish last." But damn it, I'm a nice guy. I don't say this to be overly self-complimentary, but to focus on the failing that limits my options in life. My status as "nice" is undisputed. The ex-wife who left me recognized it as a failure of my persona in that being nice precludes being dangerous or exciting. Our marriage failed (in my opinion) due to the distinct lack of excitement between us. While both of us were to blame, I cannot ignore my complicity, but I also must protest that this is simply a trait that I must learn in order to possess.

But that's old news. The marriage ended 14 years ago, and I stopped pining for my lost love only a year after its demise.

No, the current headache is in relation to the one I am in love with now. She's an amazing person who sees me socially but is not similarly in love with me. She knows my feelings and loves me in a more platonic sense, but clearly she does not welcome my romantic feelings. I've known her for quite a few years and have harbored feelings for most of that time, but this was not convenient since she was married to another. That guy was the sort of whom I am envious. Put simply, he is a jerk. He mistreated his wife, his relationship and continues to mistreat their children. Yet this is the man for whom she devoted over a decade of her life.

I never revealed my feelings for her while she was married, and had she never divorced, she would be oblivious to them even now. And now she is in no position to love me or anyone else thanks to the years of damage done to her by this, well, jerk.

I keep telling myself that in time, she'll come to love me in the way that I want her to, but I'm either impatient or too aware that success will never come. You see, I am a nice guy. I live comfortably, I'm loving, I'm a great dad, and I'm completely devoted to her happiness. And while I have to admit that I'm not a great looking guy, I'm also not grotesque, and I don't think this is a driving factor for her. But I am of the opinion that if she was inclined to ever love me, it would have happened by now, and her feelings for me would have made her frustration over her dissolved marriage a moot point.

But that just isn't in the cards. Whew. That was not cathartic in the least. Something needs to change, I just don't know exactly what.

A Quiet Life

2008-12-04T09:18:00.002-07:00

I have a rich life.

I have family who love me as a father, a grandfather, a son, a brother, an uncle. I have friends I can count on who don't condition their friendship on what I do for them. I have interests that occupy my time two nights a week and Sundays during football season.

Still, I was home on Monday night looking at the Christmas decorations I had set up. I turned all of them on and watched as the train toured my living room, the monorail visited the Disney landmarks on my living room floor, and lights made my home as merry as one could imagine.

It was so depressing, therefore, to contemplate sitting in the house, alone, looking at all these reminders of friends and family.

Yeah. I think I need a good cry to get this out of my system.

Complete Happiness

2008-11-03T11:00:00.002-07:00

This has been a rough year for our country. And I would say it's been tough for me personally, but I've been seeing an awful lot of silver linings lately.

I have a good feeling about tomorrow's presidential election, and since this candidate has excited me more than any in my lifetime, I can't wait for the result.

But that isn't the main reason for complete happiness.

Yesterday, the Arizona Cardinals thoroughly wholloped the St. Louis Rams 34-13. The game had temporary rough spots, but overall, it just made me happier and happier the longer it lasted.

But that isn't the main reason either.

Friday was Halloween. My home had visits from 140 kids, one of whom was wearing a Cardinals jersey (one more than last year). This town improves in small stages.

You guessed it, that's still not the main reason.

No, Saturday had me on Cloud 9. I spent the day doing mundane things like watching a confusing movie, having lunch, going to stores. And all was done in the company of another who gives me joy just by being present.

My life isn't perfect, but it's going awfully well.

Melancholy

2008-10-28T14:46:00.002-07:00

It's such a beautiful word. Too bad it evokes a less than beautiful emotion. But melancholy is the best word to discuss my outlook on life right now.

I'm in a period of transition. I'm 44 years old. I'm not married, and the amazing woman in my life can't seem to embrace a future with me. My older daughter is living in another state. My younger daughter lives on the other side of town over an hour away. And the two biggest hobbies that have occupied my life for the last few years are no longer holding much interest to me. Melancholy.

I'm healthier now. Now that I exercise twice a day and eat responsibly, I've lost the equivalent of an entire person, but I still have one more person to lose. That'll take time. I have football games to watch, and my Cardinals are doing better than ever (at least since they moved to Arizona), but they're a single game over .500 at this point. It's tough to get worked up over a team that is not quite up to elite status, yet they've done well so far. Why aren't I more excited? Melancholy.

It's Tuesday. I don't shoot pool on Tuesday any longer, but in true Lloydian fashion, I've filled every available free moment with helping other people with their computer problems. I'm tired of it. I need to move on with my life. I sure hope this doesn't last long.

Melancholy.

No, it isn't really a new post

2007-01-09T00:35:00.000-07:00

I've already forwarded people who had read this blog to my new space at MSN's spaces, but now I'm trying to set up a forum for people in Arizona to discuss pool leagues and tournaments, especially of the APA variety. If you care, visit www.myarizonabilliards.com and join in.

Let's get some good links here

2006-10-24T15:19:00.000-07:00

Is it unethical? You bet. But maintaining ethics is primarily responsible for links to good people being ugly. Let's turn the tables.

--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl
--AZ-01: Rick Renzi
--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth
--CA-04: John Doolittle
--CA-11: Richard Pombo
--CA-50: Brian Bilbray
--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave
--CO-05: Doug Lamborn
--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell
--CT-04: Christopher Shays
--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan
--FL-16: Joe Negron
--FL-22: Clay Shaw
--ID-01: Bill Sali
--IL-06: Peter Roskam
--IL-10: Mark Kirk
--IL-14: Dennis Hastert
--IN-02: Chris Chocola
--IN-08: John Hostettler
--IA-01: Mike Whalen
--KS-02: Jim Ryun
--KY-03: Anne Northup
--KY-04: Geoff Davis
--MD-Sen: Michael Steele
--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht
--MN-06: Michele Bachmann
--MO-Sen: Jim Talent
--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns
--NV-03: Jon Porter
--NH-02: Charlie Bass
--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson
--NM-01: Heather Wilson
--NY-03: Peter King
--NY-20: John Sweeney
--NY-26: Tom Reynolds
--NY-29: Randy Kuhl
--NC-08: Robin Hayes
--NC-11: Charles Taylor
--OH-01: Steve Chabot
--OH-02: Jean Schmidt
--OH-15: Deborah Pryce
--OH-18: Joy Padgett
--PA-04: Melissa Hart
--PA-07: Curt Weldon
--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick
--PA-10: Don Sherwood
--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee
--TN-Sen: Bob Corker
--VA-Sen: George Allen
--VA-10: Frank Wolf
--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick
--WA-08: Dave Reichert

Pretty to Look At

2006-07-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

I've been happy with the space on blogger.com, but along with the update to Windows Messenger came a curious link to a page on Microsoft's "Spaces" site. I've come to the decision that I like the look of the Microsoft site better (it better integrates a homey feel for me along with a blog). Therefore, my future posts, at least for the foreseeable future, will be at http://thelloydian.spaces.msn.com.

Disneyland 2006

2006-07-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

I went to Disneyland last weekend. What a great trip.

First came the preparation. I researched the playlist for the Sunshine Plaza area of Disney's California Adventure and made a CD with all of the tracks. I already had all but seven in my personal collection, iTunes provided four more, two were on Natalie Cole's "Unforgettable: With Love" that I picked up at Best Buy, and "California Sun" by The Rivieras was available on the "Good Morning, Vietnam" soundtrack that I found at Zia. I decided to surprise my daughter by just having the CD come on during the road trip. When it came on, she was listening to her iPod, and the effort was wasted.

I'm an owner in the Disney Vacation Club with 300 points to use per year. Since I haven't been to Florida since 2004, I have some serious points to go through. We stayed in a two bedroom Artisan Suite. What a view. On the night we arrived, I took a picture of Grizzly Peak from our balcony (no flash, shutter stayed open nearly two seconds). I'm very proud of that picture.

Unfortunately, the room was so cozy, we never made it to the rides before noon. As a result, my cost per ride exceeded $10. It was not a total loss, however, as we enjoyed meals at the ESPN Zone and Ralph Brennan's Jazz Kitchen. And we had the joy of riding the new versions of Space Mountain and Pirates. We also got to enjoy every E-Ticket attraction while there as well as a performance by Billy Hill and the Hillbillies.

I'm already looking forward to next year.

Lazy Holiday

2006-07-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

I live in Arizona, and my bedroom window faces north. So, every morning during the summer my room is at daytime brightness at around 6:00 AM. Yesterday, I didn't wake up until my phone rang at 9:30.

Even after that, I just transferred myself to my TV room where, thanks to a lot of drywalled former windows, it's dark all day long. So I slept, off and on, for the rest of the day. Boy, was it nice to catch up on that needed sleep.

Along the way, I watched slivers of "The Music Man" (the 1962 version, of course), "Fools Rush In" and "Great Performances" from PBS which aired the 4th of July version of "A Prairie Home Companion." Laziness never felt so good.

Mom Hates The Beatles

2006-06-29T09:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the post title kind of sucks, especially since she doesn't, but I liked the play on Allan Sherman's classic "Pop Hates The Beatles" set to the music of "Pop Goes the Weasel."

Why do I bring this up? Well, my music player was busy playing "Free As a Bird," the first of the two songs the (then) surviving Beatles overdubbed to old John Lennon demo tapes to provide new singles in the '90s. In other words, it has nothing to do with the rest of this post.

I have a great life. The problems that beset much of our world really don't impact me except to the extent that I get into philosophical discussions with others. On a daily basis, however, I get up every day, I exercise, I shower, I go to work, I come home, and I wind down for the day. Along the way, I eat some meals, I carry on conversations, and sometimes I play.

Money may be tight for me, but compared to others in the world, I'm sitting pretty. I still have enough to spend $25 on a Thursday to shoot pool. When I want to visit Disneyland, I have to plan, but it's not an impossible dream. I go to football games and sit in a seat that, this year, costs $79.25 per game. I'm rich, even if the government (even under Bush) thinks I'm so poor I don't need to pay taxes.

I guess my point is, if anyone ever sees this, if you're as lucky as I am, enjoy your life. If life, for you, is a daily struggle for survival, you are why I will always have work to accomplish.

More Politics

2006-06-27T15:47:00.000-07:00

Last night, I saw footage of the President angrily calling out the New York Times for their article on the secret tracking of banking transactions. He's saying that the Times is making the "War on Terror" harder to fight. Cheney was even more specific, but each of these examples show the old "kill the messenger" mentality that people who know they're wrong will use.

Thank you, New York Times, for pointing out their logical fallacy. The President argues that banks will be unwilling to cooperate as a result of this but also argues that the program is entirely legal. If it's so legal, why wouldn't banks cooperate?

I'm ashamed of my country's leadership.

How Is It that Some Men are Gay?

2006-06-26T14:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/26/ap/health/mainD8IG2QI00.shtml

Apparently, while it is not genetic, it is biological.

I Yelled at My TV Last Night

2006-06-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

It was during the NBC Nightly News when a story about Bush in Europe came on. In the story, NBC Reporter David Gregory quotes a reporter's question and we hear Bush's response. Said Gregory, "A reporter asked why, after 15 trips to Europe, the public mood here is still hostile." Bush responded, "They didn't agree with my decision on Iraq. And I understand that. For Europe, September the 11th was a moment. For us it was a change of thinking."

Oh, does that make me angry. Will all of the world please repeat after me: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Say it again: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Bush knows that, but to state it in obvious terms would reveal his deceipt. Hey, King George, Europe didn't agree with you on Iraq, but that agreement has nothing to do with how deeply anyone was moved by 9/11 because they are completely independent of each other. The only people who believe they are related are people who have believed your lies. And yes, I call them lies. Because when you conflate Iraq and 9/11, you knowingly deceive your audience even if you are technically careful never to say Iraq was involved in 9/11.

I sure do hate the lies.

Vegas, Baby! (3)

2006-06-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

Wow, Las Vegas is quickly becoming my second home!

My dad was always an avid pool player. When he joined a league a few years ago, I joined just to spend some time with him. It has, since, taken a much larger role in my life. The beginnings of it took place when our 9-Ball team was the only team from Arizona to make it to the national team championships in Las Vegas. At that point, I was hooked.

Last year, out of 192 teams that began the tournament, all of them finalists from various areas of the United States and Canada, our team finished in a 32 way tie for 33rd place (128 teams were worse, 32 were better).

It isn't an easy task. There are 112 teams in the Arizona region, and only four of those teams go to the team championships, so only 1 in 28 go in any one year. And since the leagues are handicapped with upper limits placed on a team's skill, equality is the rule more than the exception.

We're going a second year in a row. Given the odds of getting there at all, we've now got a lifetime of experience there.

Hello Riviera Hotel, here I come!

A Realization

2006-06-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

I just realized why I like this Dixie Chicks song so much.

Jump back to 2003. The United States has just unleashed the "Shock and Awe" campaign on Iraq, and I am alone among my family members to be unhappy with our country's decision. My family made a trip to San Diego to wish my nephew a happy 17th birthday, and politics were discussed along the way. I have issues with my mother.

As the family accumulated at my sister's apartment, the television coverage of our bombing was playing when the Iraq discussion came up. Virtually all of them were in favor of the war, so I decided not to add my sermon about rash wars to the weekend's lighthearted discussions. It was Mom who chose to bring it up saying, "Lloyd's a Saddam lover. He thinks Saddam is a swell guy."

After Natalie Maines said that famous line about being embarrassed that the president was from Texas, Toby Keith famously displayed a Photoshopped picture of Natalie cozying up to Saddam.

This is a level of intentional stupidity that just burns me. Sometimes, I yearn for the freedom to make ad hominem attacks on those with whom I disagree.

Dixie Chicks Rock!

2006-05-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

I have never previously purchased one of their albums, but after hearing "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice" on Letterman the other night, I dove in. That's one great album. I always tell my daughter that what makes great music is PAIN! From that first single:

It's a sad, sad story
When a mother would teach her Daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world could the words I said
send somebody so over they edge
that they'd write me a letter saying I better
shut up and sing or my life would be over.

And it's not just the words, but the music itself is so powerful and moving. What a great song!

Why I Am an Atheist

2006-05-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

For this discussion, I believe the first issue I must deal with is why I don't tend to share my religious beliefs with those I come in contact with. It's important because it goes to the roots of my political beliefs which have evolved from young Republican to staunch Democrat. For me, this issue of sharing is hindered by the very society we inhabit.

I am a US citizen as are my parents and were my grandparents. Beyond that, I'm pretty sure we have additional generations of US citizens, but I couldn't be certain because I never knew anyone from those generations of my family. To boil it down, I wouldn't want to live in any other country, and this country is my home. Sadly, all too many people claim the right to question my loyalty to this country by virtue of my tendency to question the current leadership.

Similarly, in religion, people of particular religious backgrounds treat my beliefs as a character flaw, and since I don't care to educate them fully on the subject, I find it easier to simply keep my beliefs more secret. When I speak to my sister, she feels free to attempt to help me understand the faith that I lack so that I may elevate myself toward her level of belief. And while I have never confronted her on those terms, I strongly suspect that were the tables turned, and I was making a concerted effort to enlighten her on the errors of her beliefs, she would be offended by my words. Perhaps I just need to locate the correct words that avoid offensiveness.

On the other hand, disguising my beliefs is a form of deception. Certainly there is no ill will in my deception, but it is deception nevertheless. When I reveal my beliefs to others, I often quip that I avoid sharing my beliefs on the chance that I am wrong and do not wish to poison the lives of those who may value my opinion. Could I be condemning their lives? But the truth is that by not sharing my beliefs with those people, I run the risk of that many more people succumbing to the belief structure of a group whose values often do not match my own. In other words, as long as I allow the free expansion of Christian belief, and specifically evangelical Christian belief, I will have to continue to live in a system that professes to value freedom of religion while it instills religious beliefs into the laws that are passed.

I was not always an atheist. I was born in California and lived there until just after my seventh birthday. While I'm pretty sure that we attended a church occasionally, I have no distinct memory of that attendance. When we moved to Texas in 1972, we attended a local Church of Christ where my earliest church memories are based. Not too long after arriving in Texas, we started attending a Southern Baptist church led by one of the finest individuals I've had the honor of knowing, Dr. Joe Mosely.

My parents professed belief, but Sunday School was primarily something that only the children attended in our family. The parents would usually come for the main service, but sometimes we would attend without them. Other times, we would be retrieved after Sunday School ended.

Admittedly, I had little passion for my faith, but I paid strict attention during Sunday School to try to learn the lessons being taught. For some time I even sang with the youth choir, and I often attended gatherings for youth arranged by our congregation. I was a member of the Royal Ambassadors who met one evening each week to discuss the sharing of our faith with others. In the late '70s, I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior and earnestly shared my happiness with others.

The first seed of my future leanings came when a high school friend casually mentioned one day that he did not believe in God. I tried to understand how such evil could have invaded him, foreshadowing the treatment I have received thanks to my own beliefs. I have a vivid memory of being taught about consorting with non-believers. The demonstration was that while Christians live a more enlightened (or higher) life, and while we may wish to bring non-believers up to our level, it is much easier to pull someone down from something than it is to raise someone up. The lesson was clear: stay away from atheists lest they pollute your mind. I cut off my friendship with the otherwise noble individual. While I eventually let go of the hatred that I now realize I was exhibiting, the incident drove my future beliefs. Ironically, it seems to be true that it was easier for them to shake my beliefs than for me to affect theirs.

When we moved to Arizona in 1980, our membership in a Southern Baptist congregation continued. Attendance was similar to that of our church in Texas, late in my first school year, I became best friends with a Mormon. To his credit, while he shared his beliefs with me, he did not attempt to convert me to his religion. Still, seeing his family, knowing his values, I knew that his belief system must have intrinsic value. I looked into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I started reading The Book of Mormon. I didn't get far before life and other distractions had me on my way.

The next influence on my beliefs was my high school anthropology teacher. To be honest, I only took the course because it was a requisite elective that fit into my schedule. I came away with more knowledge than I could have imagined. His class challenged me and introduced me to the notion that one could be a moral, upstanding citizen without believing in God.

When I was attending the University of Texas, I was curious enough to try to resolve the issue once and for all. I read books. I studied the Bible. I attended multiple churches to resolve the same questions that Joseph Smith reported posed, which one is right? And while my answer was close to Smith's (none of them), mine came without the attendant desire to start my own church.

My belief structure has now been godless for over two decades. My view of humanity is that people, like the cells of body, individually do not usually impact the remainder of people much, but that each person, performing his or her own contribution to society, make the overall society function. The analogy fails in that it assumes a cohesiveness to all of society which people do not enjoy as much as would be desired, but it gives an idea of what I believe is humanity's greatest aspiration.

For over twenty years, my attitude about my beliefs has held that I keep them silent so that believers are not troubled by me and so they may avoid what I assume to be my negative influence. When people ask (and they should not be asking), I merely say that I was raised Southern Baptist. It is only when their questions become more direct that I have revealed my beliefs fully. That is about to change.

Too often, I find that people couch their political beliefs into their religious beliefs. Those who do so will often argue that holding political beliefs that are based on their religious beliefs is entirely reasonable in a free society. While I agree that people should be allowed to express themselves, it angers me when their expression infringes on those things I wish to do.

As an example, during the halftime show at the Super Bowl in 2004, Janet Jackson famously exposed a breast. She should not have done that. In the 24 hours after it happened, the FCC received three complaints. After the religious wackos got involved, the complaints started pouring in. The Parents Television Council gets involved in making sure that the television that I watch is only allowed to meet their standards. Mr. Bozell, every television sold for the last ten years has a V-chip in it that allows you to protect your children from seeing objectionable material.

Another example is in the insane war we've undergone in Iraq. We have a president who purports to consult God in his decisions hoping that He approves, but when couched in religious belief, one cannot argue against those decisions. If God tells him to do it (or he thinks God has told him to do it), who are we lowly humans to convince him otherwise?

Still another example is the disgusting behavior of right wing politicians in connection with the Terri Schaivo case. They were so intent on preserving their pro-life agenda that they were prepared to ignore the years of testimony from people who were paid to understand the issues. Religious fanatics did not care. They inspired first the Florida Legislature to stick their noses in a private matter, then they mustered right wing legislators in Congress to intervene in a private matter. And despite the lies used to bolster their cases, when an autopsy found that, indeed, Terri had been brain dead all along, they showed no remorse for having butt into business that was not theirs.

And as a final example, people with religious views that do not match mine have spent much time attempting to remove science from American classrooms. Despite there being univeral acceptance among the scientific community of issues such as evolution, religious fanatics continue to argue that their religious beliefs should be part of public school curricula.

I consider ours to be a somewhat backward nation. We scoff at the beliefs of the ancient Greeks with their array of gods, yet we have entire industries set up around a god of similar verfiability. The most commonly held religious faith in the world is Buddhism, but to believe the majority of Christians in the U.S., one would have to hold that they are all living condemned lives. And I have to live with regular reminders from my sister that I can correct my life by embracing her beliefs.

Most Americans recognize the danger of groups like the Taliban who enforce their religious will on all the occupants of their country to the exclusion of other beliefs. Sadly, those same people generally do not recognize the American Taliban that we currently have in office. Have they managed to insert religious belief into our laws? For the most part, not yet. But I fear they eventually will.

I hope to leave a more tolerant world to my children and grandchildren. We'll see.

I Don't Always Have the Best Words

2006-05-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I posted an email I received as well as my point by point response to it. If you have ten minutes, feel free to read it (I'm still proud of it).

But I was not the only person who received that email. Let's face it, millions have probably seen it. But I was sent the response of one of those recipients who expressed her thoughts rather well. Her wonderful response to the post quoted below:

To whomever,
I am "one of those who don't agree".
This e-mail is just another in a long line of hateful pseudo patriotic crap that is endlessly circulating the Internet. It basically says that America has an inalienable right to bully any and every country into following our political fairy tales turned nightmares no matter how baseless and self-serving they are. The majority of countries who did not back the good old USA, did so because they believed in a more diplomatic approach which translates into a lot less bloodshed. The polls today show that if Americans had to do it all over again, they would not stand behind this war. I don't think Canada is ready for an influx of over 60% of our country's population.
The rest of this e-mail goes on to be anti-famine relief, anti-democratic, anti-freedom, anti-environmentalism, and strangely enough anti-world soccer play-offs. Dumbfounding.
Sorry if this came across at all short-tempered. It seems as though our computers have become deluged with these types of e-mails. And if it isn't misplaced patriotic sentimentality then it's the anti-immigration, "Hispanics are the new bad guys" crap. I've just had enough.

We Are a Nation of Ignorants

2006-05-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

As is true of all netizens, I get politically based email from well intentioned people who are uninformed. I'm sure you've seen the following before. I have augmented it with my personal comments after the original text.

Subject: Alright!!!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

No it hasn't. We destroyed their country and failed to properly plan for the period after the invasion. As a result, we have created a fertile area for breeding hatred of the United States. Sadly, it's been screwed up so long, we may no longer be able to repair our errors.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

A) Congress continues to spend more money on this war. B) Since every dollar we spend is a dollar plus interest that we pass on to our children to pay, and since the daily cost of our involvement is in the hundreds of millions of dollars, I would be quite happy if the money stopped going out. Hey all you conservatives, since the war costs us an additional $24.00 per month for every man, woman and child in the country, are you sending in donations of $96 per month to the war effort (for families of four)?

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

As is common for the author of this stupidity, there is an assumption that we have only two options: keep fighting as long as King George says we should, or immediately withdraw. It is ignorant logic like this that got us into this war.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

Let me describe the lists for you. The first list (the short list) is the list of countries that bought into our deception and followed us into this ill advised scheme. The second list consists of countries that wisely avoided the quagmire. Second list countries should be admired.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Thankfully, most of the countries of the world are not led by people as foolish as our leaders.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

This is a lie. If the United States ceased paying foreign aid to any country whatsoever, it would take more than our grandchildrens' lifetimes to save the amount we've wasted on this war. Unfortunately, that assumes we pay no interest. Since we must actually pay interest on money we borrow for stupid wars, it's important to know that the interest on this fiasco alone is greater than the sum total of all foreign aid provided by our country. Notably, the more a country pays in foreign aid, the more likely they are to be on "List 2."

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

No, we're going to pour money into Iraq and watch that government grow fat on corruption. Maybe we'll spread some of that fat to the likes of Halliburton.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

France currently provides aid at more than 2.5 times the rate of the United States (0.42% of GDP vs. our 0.16%).

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

On part A of this statement, you mean like the poverty uncovered by Katrina? Perhaps you're talking about the vexing social problems of rich people. We did, after all, just pass a tax cut that gives people making $50K a $46 tax reduction while people making 20 times as much get over 200 times the tax break. On the second point, it's nearly five years since 9/11. Shouldn't we eliminate Al-Qaeda before threatening to eliminate terrorist organizations?

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

France has suffered more terrorism than the United States has. They simply fight it on more realistic terms. Partisan hack pundits, like the detestable author of this diatribe, wish ill on others out of spite. France and China chose correctly, so the author wants them to suffer for our stupidity.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

Is this a threat or a promise? We currently have trade deficits with two of those countries, and we're already, in fact, pissing off the Russians to the point that they're talking about a resurgence of the Cold War. We don't have diplomatic relations with them for their benefit: it's for our benefit. Time to take out our guns and shoot ourselves in the foot.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

Boy, Americans better not ever leave the country. We could figure out how to inspire everyone to love us as much as Al Qaeda does. While we're at it, we better hope no one already in our country is from any other country or they may carry a grudge.

! A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

How is Canada pissing us off now?

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Well, since Mexico won't be on good terms with the US, I guess they'll avoid sending any of the oil to us. For that matter, neither will Canada or Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, Kuwait. Hmmm. Well, I guess we don't need to use our cars.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

No argument on the merits of NAFTA here. NAFTA meant sending American jobs to cheaper markets in Mexico. But the whole notion of breaking promises made kind of disturbs me. It's kind of like that treaty we signed after World War I promising never to invade another country except when they were clearly and directly planning our invasion. You know, some of the war criminals in Nazi Germany tried the "we were just preventing an immanent attack" were convicted because the countries were not really planning an attack, and Iraq was not planning an attack on our country, no matter how many lies you've believed so far.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

The entire Alaska oil reserves, if used only in the United States, would cover about 3% of current usage. But then, since we've already had to give up driving (see two points above this one), maybe it will be enough. But then, there is that problem that any oil pumped out of Alaska will be on the West Coast. Since over 3/4 of our citizens are on the East Coast, shipping this oil to them would be cost prohibitive. Too bad we no longer have diplomatic relations with the countries that would buy our leftovers. Well, the West Coast will have cheap gas. I especially chuckle at that last point. "If you disagree with my opinion, you are un-American. You should leave." That's America for you. Land of the thoughts that agree with the government's official line. Hmmm. I thought it was the land of the free.

It is time for! America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Isn't that the gist of what you're opponents are saying? Stop starting wars against countries that aren't attacking us so we can provide universal health care and improve education by methods other than closing down public schools.

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

Nearly a century of helping Nicaraguan Contras overthrow their government, helping holdout Vietnamese fight their popular government, helping the Shah overthrow the elected government of Iran and a nearly endless list of other intrusions into sovereign governments has earned us the enmity of some and the love of so many others. Why do you think so many people still try to come here?

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

Muslims (not to be confused with Arabs) are not trying to take over the world, they are trying to take over the areas where they live. While we should endeavor to ensure that people the world over can live in peace, we do not accomplish that goal by killing them in unlawful wars.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

Why do so many people think that God cares more about us than He does about other people? Sure, God bless America, but damn the rest of them! Being a rich country doesn't make God love us any more than it would cause Him to love Paris Hilton more than he does the reader of this message.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

If you can read this, be thankful you live somewhere that values education. Be glad you were not born in any of those countries where the citizens would rather be living here. Always be thankful for the soldiers who lay their lives on the line for their country daily. And get rid of the foolish leaders who would casually waste those lives for political gain.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer!)

Ruth S. Wells

A note about the subject line: The word "alright" is used by people who are unaware that the correct usage is "all right."

I Have Nothing to Say

2006-05-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm just sitting at my computer, listening to Les Brown and His Band of Renown playing "Leap Frog" even though I had no idea that I had the song in my collection. I'm not even sure why it's in my list of good music. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying that I'm unaware of the song.

Ah, on to "Keep Yourself Alive" by Queen. That's more normal.

It's amazing that I have nothing to say. It's a very political time right now. The Republicans are being exposed for their malfeasance virtually every day, and the President continues to make gaffes that overload comedians with material, but it all seems so mundane now.

I still exercise. I still go to bed on time. Boy, life sure has become boring since gas broke $3 a gallon.

I'm Fat

2006-05-05T10:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if the title needs expansion, but in case it's too vague, I'm obese.

There are those who point out that glandular conditions can cause a person to put on extra pounds. I'm quite certain that this applies to me since my brother and I can eat similar amounts of food, and I get fat while he stays thin. But knowledge of impediments to health are no excuse for remaining fat.

The truth is that I tend to eat too much of the wrong foods. That changed earlier this year. You see, in February, I visited my local VA Medical Center to be evaluated by a doctor there. She recommended blood tests, a nutritionist and what they called kinesiotherapy.

In late March, I visited both. The nutritionist set a local goal of cutting soda pop out of my diet, cooking at home and making lunches of nutritions foods. She also suggested that for meals I substitute milk for less healthy drinks. I did quite well on this for all of April.

The kinesiotherapist measured my weight (405 pounds) and my body fat (52.2%) and determined that I'm carrying 211 pounds of fat on my frame. He instructed me to exercise every day, and as it becomes more regular, to try to increase it to twice a day. I did this and now exercise twice a day most days but always at least once a day.

After just over a month of doing this, I came back for a return visit. I felt good. I felt health and fit. My shirts feel larger, my pants feel larger, my belts are looser, my blood pressure is in the normal range, things are great. I bragged to a co-worker that I would almost certain have lost at least 30 pounds. I entered the clinic full of confidence.

I stepped on the scale.

In the entire period, I lost one pound.

On the plus side, my body fat went from 52.2% to 40.3%, so ostensibly, while I lost one pound outright, another 47 pounds converted from fat to muscle. My fat weight dropped to 163 pounds (still enough for another adult in my fat weight alone).

So, dear reader, prepare yourself for my neverending posts on how the thinning progresses.

In today's case (I did not exercise last night since I shoot pool on Thursday night), I spent 30 minutes on the bike watching the remainder of "Solaris" starring George Clooney. Curiously, the movie made me wonder what I had watched. What an empty film. I mean, I'm a smart guy, and I'm sure they were trying to make a point of some sort, but they went so overboard with fantastic imagery, I couldn't understand what that point might be. If you're renting, save yourself the $3.

Enough for today. Time to enjoy Friday.

Ramblin' Man

2006-04-13T16:31:00.000-07:00

As Steve Martin famously said, "I'm a ramblin' man. Ramblin', ramblin', ramblin'."

Quite some time back, an eternity in my mind, I worked for a fine provider of mental health counseling here in Phoenix called EAP Preferred. For ten years, I kept the books, tracked the information, did the reports, and overall served as a storehouse of corporate knowledge. As an EAP, we had things other companies couldn't fathom.

When I arrived at the start of 1994, the business employed just over a dozen therapists who worked on various days at various offices at varying times during the week. Unlike most distributed systems, we kept track of everyone's schedule using an archaic, but valid, method of notification.

Clients called for appointments which the one and only scheduler put into a huge appointment book (purchased from Sally Beauty Supply).
The scheduler, after putting the name in the book, noted the appointment on a telephone message slip and left the slip in a sorter with slots for each therapist.
Between appointments, therapists called in the appointments they had scheduled and were relayed any appointments waiting in their message slot.

It did not work perfectly. A slip of paper lost (or neglectfully never completed) resulted in the therapist thinking the slot available and it became double booked requiring a call from central scheduling to notify a client that their promised slot was no longer available.

My contribution was to write a program that allowed multiple people to make entries simultaneously. Further, with the implementation of a voice mail system, notification of appointments could be done by any party without respect to another's presence in his or her office.

Also during my tenure, we moved from a company with two computers operating independently to one that had ten computers in the main office, all networked with multiple redundancy to prevent data loss. Forms were no longer printed on the dot matrix printer present when I arrived, but were professionally printed on laser printers.

Quarterly employer reports went from ugly columns of numbers that included redundant data for three quarters with no comparison to the previous year to useful comparisons and eye catching pie charts.

As the company grew, one member of the ownership team chose to move on to other pastures. That was when the trouble began.

Her replacement was not entirely qualified. The new director was amiable enough, but suddenly politics became all too important in the office. As anyone who has read my posts knows, I don't shy away from politics as they relate to government, but I detest office politics. Mostly, I detested that the politics were aligning against me. I perceived snubs on multiple occasions and finally felt I could no longer take them. I rebelled.

It started by refusing to comply with a request not to park in designated parking. Being the most tenured person involved and, in my mind, the god of the company, I refused the request to park in a distant lot to allow those on the other political side to commandeer the cushy spots.

But it came to a head when an employee who reported to me became uncontrollable. I realized that the employee would not listen to me and would even flaunt her opposition. I insisted upon her termination. My boss, the owner, disagreed. I lived with it for another month before I again insisted that it was important. He still refused. My insistence became an ultimatum. Ultimatums are seldom successful as they only inspire entrenchment. This was the beginning of my downfall.

I held out until the last possible moment knowing that I could not, in good conscience, leave my co-workers without paychecks. My nemesis (the one above me in the ranking system) conveniently excluded her own involvement when freely sharing with the staff why their paychecks were in danger.

She then set out to replace me. They contacted a temp agency and found a person with what looked like the perfect combination of knowledge. When he was brought in, he was announced as an auditor to review our systems. In truth, he was there to replace me.

His audit began by looking for anomolies in my financial books. He found one. The innocuous description is that there was a clerical error that accounted for money but missed the proper categorization of it. He determined it to be embezzlement. He was wrong. But that did not prevent him from announcing my perceived theft to the business owner.

An ironic aside: the big thing his audit eventually found was that the "nemesis" who hired him was not a necessary employee, and she was let go. Sadly, this also resulted in our newfound auditor inexplicably being put in charge of the entire company.

I'd like to think that he wanted success, but his ethical shortcomings made failure much more likely. And to add to the irony, he "borrowed" money from the company without telling anyone. He eventually paid that money back.

I kept trying to expose his incompetence so the company could right itself, but the owner no longer trusted me. I decided that the thing to do was to open my own business.

L&L PC Services failed. It failed due to my nature. As I visited with clients, I put pressure on myself to never allow a cost to become too high, and when time accumulated, I wrote it off as my inability to solve the problem faster and did not charge appropriately for my time. That and a thief from the East Coast ripped off a more naive me to the tune of $8K. The grand experiment lasted a year before I gave up. The number of unhappy customers is tiny, but there came a point where I realized that people who scrupulously bill for their time may not make friends, but they sure do make money.

So now I'm back working for someone again. I don't see that changing in the near future. And why do I say all of this? There is no real point. This is simply a post that's meant to give the reader insight into who their narrator is. Perhaps next I'll go into why I am an atheist.

A Week Has Passed

2006-04-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

And so I feel this compulsion to write something...anything...just so I can say I wrote something.

Yesterday, the Kinesiotherapy folks at the VA medical center rated my body fat at 51%. So, of my 401 pounds (Rich generously credited me with four pounds for my shorts, T-shirt, socks and shoes), 201 is pure fat. And how do I react? By exercising very little for the next 24 hours. For the record, I was in pain. My knee hurt. My elbow hurt, and I didn't get home to make dinner until nearly 8:30 PM. Excuses, nothing but excuses.

So, another Tuesday arrives, and shockingly, I have no appointments tonight. In fact, I have very little work lined up in the future. Nothing is hanging around. Life is simply calm. It's time to clean the house.

Vegas, Baby! (2)

2006-03-28T16:10:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I've posted to this point before, but I shoot pool. To be sure, I'm not great, but I'm better than I was a year ago.

Last weekend, my father and I joined our teammate, Oscar, in the Southwest Challenge. We did okay. We won as much as we lost. And as far as money goes, well, we had fun.

My daughter accompanied us as well, and while she had very little fun for the first 24 hours, once we were eliminated, Penn & Teller beckoned. There was a great moment in the show when Penn was discussing the mathematical equations necessary to computer the trajectory of a liquor bottle with its bottom broken off by a pipe. Surmising that it would require a mathematical genius, he noted that, "I don't know how many mathematical geniuses we have here tonight. Wait: we're in Las Vegas. No one here is a mathematical genius."

Speaking as a mathematical genius, I just had to chuckle and acknowledge his point. Later, I went into the casino to gamble.

And while I'm at it, the Rio is quite the casino. I'm going to have to stay there some time.

Nothing Like Taking a Break

2006-03-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

So not all of my life is political in nature. That's just the stuff that tends to make me angriest.

For someone as cash poor as I am, I've had quite a year so far. At the start of February, I attended a flooring convention in Las Vegas. My employer (best employer ever!) force me to go and put me up at Caesar's Palace. During the convention, one of our suppliers had a private party on the main floor of Margaritaville. Life is rough.

The start of March brought the regional individual tournament to determine who, in our region, would go to the national tournament in April. Both my father and I qualified for the regional in eight ball at the 4 and 5 skill level (APA). But since I qualified when I was a three, these people tended to be better than I am. Still, I was able to win one of my matches. My dad, on the other hand, made it to the final match before being eliminated.

And this Thursday comes the Southwest Challenge at the Riviera Hotel. In this tournament, still handicapped, each team uses two or three players in a best of three match. Your team is required to continue in order throughout the tournament. So if you beat a team in two matches, your third player must start the next round. I'm the weak cog in the whole thing, but I'm sure looking forward to playing above myself. More later.

The Mythical War on Christmas

2005-12-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Why do people believe Bill O'Reilly? His many tirades against non-Christians who, in his view, are waging a war on Christmas are well documented and, as of this writing, are probably among the entries in the Media Matters section at right.

Curiously, some media types have recently, finally, taken him and others to task on the subject. One asked a pundit whether or not Jesus would have been offended by someone wishing him, "Happy Holidays." The pundit pled ignorance but reiterated that it was personally offensive.

It occurs to me that the vast majority of people in this country celebrate Christmas and regularly wish others a "Merry Christmas" but will occasionally use the more neutral term of "Happy Holidays" in one of two situations:

They are referring to more than just Christmas, and "Happy Holidays" is easier to say than "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year."
They are attempting to be considerate of others who may not share in their religious beliefs.

If reason 1 is sufficient to offend you, you're in serious need of a massage. If reason 2 is the applicable reason (and I'm willing to bet that this is the contentious one), let me rephrase your point of view as I understand it: "You sure as hell better say, 'Merry Christmas'. We're Christians, god damn it, and you better respect us or else."

Yes, of course that's what Jesus would say.

The Jesus I've studied would weep over the things that are proferred in His name.

Profile of a Coward

2005-10-31T16:14:00.000-07:00

I'm in the computer repair business. Last Thursday, I was visiting the home of a customer who had his television on next to the computer. He was watching Fox News Channel.

I've learned to not be critical of the channel with its fans. Suggesting that FNC is anything but the best on TV (cable or otherwise) is akin to calling their baby ugly. Indeed, with this person, I stated that I got very little news from my television though I occasionally caught the NBC Nightly News. This troubled him since he knows that NBC is a liberal channel that hates Bush. Wow. I don't know why such ignorance continues to confuse me, but I find it amazing how many otherwise intelligent people believe the claptrap that comes from FNC.

As you can see from the graphic on my page, I visit MediaMatters.org regularly. Recently, there have been some significant entries on the part of the esteemed Bill O'Reilly. Among other things, he has called Media Matters evil and nothing but lies, though he consistently fails to identify the lies they tell. I even tried to balance things out by visiting the equivalent right wing site, Media Research Center. The problem with MRC is that they make statements about media errors without 1) identifying the factual fault and without 2) providing reference information. In other words, the reader is expected to know the information is incorrect because a liberal provided the information. Even if they are correct, please give me links to the corroborating evidence that you are telling the truth. Curiously, that's exactly what Media Matters does.

Media Matters has asked to rebut the charges made by Bill O'Reilly, but Mr. Bill has steadfastly refused. Meanwhile, he has published a "shame on you" list of the people who have not agreed to be interviewed by him. To make the list look fair and balanced, he listed a few right wingers, but then leveled explanatory attacks only on left wingers (and seriously, who expected Dick Cheney to appear on his show). The members of his list were described as cowards.

Bill, you are a coward. By your definition, you are cowardly and immoral.

WOW

2005-10-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have very clear memories of the 2000 presidential election. We all knew that Bush and Gore were going down to the wire, but I maintained confidence that there was no way the Democrats could lose. Either Gore would win, and the country would have his leadership, or Bush would win and screw things up so badly, Democrats would win for years to come.

I was partially correct. Bush did screw things up royally, but unbelievably, he got re-elected anyway. Watching the process in 2004, I was amazed by the number of clearly incorrect statements that were passed off as truth during the campaign. When the results came in, I joined my liberal bretheren in a deep funk.

The opportunity had come and gone. All had been truly screwed up, and no one was held accountable. I thought equity was a lost cause.

I can't wait to see how conservatives spin their criminal actions tomorrow.

Chapter Seven

2005-10-13T16:49:00.000-07:00

I filed for bankruptcy today. If you're overly curious as to why, just read through my history.

No, the reason I bring it up is the cute story that goes along with it. When I got there, the line was significant, so I waited. As we neared the front of the line, the gentleman in front of me asked to borrow my pen. I'm always glad to share (maybe that's part of why I was filing), so I pulled out a pen. That's when I noticed he was getting ready to write a check for his filing fee.

I felt so sorry for him. Apparently, he was unaware that they don't trust checks written by people filing for bankruptcy. He had to leave to get a money order.

Yes, I'll Use the Word: Asshole!

2005-10-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

I am not prone to haphazard usage of profanity, but I got so angry by the divisive words that were forwarded to me by a friend and coworker who happens to have quite a number of conservative friends. The primary text is available online freely at http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=46440. If you are among that disgusting group that supports this opinion, I have thoughtfully included all appropriate links for you hate mongers to congregate.

A reprint of the text with my comments interspersed (my comments are indented and in blue) follows:

Moral Poverty cost blacks in New Orleans
By Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson
(c) 2005 WorldNetDaily.com

Say a hurricane is about to destroy the city you live in. Two questions: What would you do?
What would you do if you were black?

While he will later address material poverty then minimize it to concentrate on his perceived moral poverty, the question that this Uncle Tom should be addressing is "What would you do if you were poor?"

Sadly, the two questions don't have the same answer.

Of course they don't have the same answer since poor people often lack motor vehicles to take them away. What an asshole.

To the first: Most of us would take our families out of that city quickly to protect them from danger. Then, able-bodied men would return to help others in need, as wives and others cared for children, elderly, infirm and the like.

For better or worse, Hurricane Katrina has told us the answer to the second question. If you're black and a hurricane is about to destroy your city, then you'll probably wait for the government to save you.

If you have no vehicle and no means to support yourself in another city, you either try to ride out the storm, or you go to the designated destination for those without the means to escape, the Superdome. This was always the plan for the city, and it was a good plan until the expected removal from that location took four days to materialize.

This was not always the case. Prior to 40 years ago, such a pathetic performance by the black community in a time of crisis would have been inconceivable. The first response would have come from black men. They would take care of their families, bring them to safety, and then help the rest of the community. Then local government would come in.

No longer. When 75 percent of New Orleans residents had left the city, it was primarily immoral, welfare-pampered blacks that stayed behind and waited for the government to bail them out. This, as we know, did not turn out good results.

Oh my god! How does the Reverend Peterson have such insight into the moral character of so many people?

Enter Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan. Jackson and Farrakhan laid blame on "racist" President Bush. Farrakhan actually proposed the idea that the government blew up a levee so as to kill blacks and save whites. The two demanded massive governmental spending to rebuild New Orleans, above and beyond the federal government's proposed $60 billion. Not only that, these two were positioning themselves as the gatekeepers to supervise the dispersion of funds. Perfect: Two of the most dishonest elite blacks in America, "overseeing" billions of dollars. I wonder where that money will end up.

On the racism charge, true: they felt that the slow response was due to racism. While I disagree with them, it is no more provable to not be racism as it is provable to be racism. On the positioning, false: this man has a history of making up extreme positions for Jackson and Farrakhan (http://mediamatters.org/items/200411300008).

Of course, if these two were really serious about laying blame on government, they should blame the local one. Responsibility to perform - legally and practically - fell first on the mayor of New Orleans. We are now all familiar with Mayor Ray Nagin - the black Democrat who likes to yell at President Bush for failing to do Nagin's job. The facts, unfortunately, do not support Nagin's wailing. As the Washington Times puts it, "recent reports show [Nagin] failed to follow through on his own city's emergency-response plan, which acknowledged that thousands of the city's poorest residents would have no way to evacuate the city."

The Washington Times, owned by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, is the paper equivalent to Fox News Channel (reporting many facts but slanting them the Republican way any time they can and often ignoring facts that make Republicans look bad). Quite a number of falsehoods about local response are covered at http://mediamatters.org/items/200509100003. No one says that Nagin and Blanco performed flawlessly, but Bush apologists sure do like to suggest that they are the only ones to blame.

One wonders how there was "no way" for these people to evacuate the city. We have photographic evidence telling us otherwise. You've probably seen it by now - the photo showing 2,000 parked school buses, unused and underwater. How much planning does it require to put people on a bus and leave town, Mayor Nagin?

Actually, there were not 2,000 parked school buses in that picture. The city only owned 324 school buses as discussed at http://mediamatters.org/items/200509120005?is_gsa=1&final=1. As luck would have it, City buses were provided. But again, the plan was never to bus people out of the city so much as to bus them to higher ground which would be easily cleared if significant damage occurred. The damage occurred, the buses did their job, but the expected evacuation team from FEMA took four days to arrive.

Instead of doing the obvious, Mayor Nagin (with no positive contribution from Democratic Gov. Kathleen Blanco, the other major leader vested with responsibility to address the hurricane disaster) loaded remaining New Orleans residents into the Superdome and the city's convention center. We know how that plan turned out.

Fortunately, Gov. Blanco declared the area a disaster area two days before the hurricane hit allowing federal officials to come in. When it came time to complete the paperwork at FEMA, someone erred and neglected to include three parishes in New Orleans. When then-FEMA Director Brown looked at the paperwork, he didn't see the New Orleans parishes listed, so he sent no help.

About five years ago, in a debate before the National Association of Black Journalists, I stated that if whites were to just leave the United States and let blacks run the country, they would turn America into a ghetto within 10 years. The audience, shall we say, disagreed with me strongly. Now I have to disagree with me. I gave blacks too much credit. It took a mere three days for blacks to turn the Superdome and the convention center into ghettos, rampant with theft, rape and murder.

What an asshole this man is. The "rampant with theft, rape and murder" turned out to be false: http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/opinion/12804454.htm

President Bush is not to blame for the rampant immorality of blacks. Had New Orleans' black community taken action, most would have been out of harm's way. But most were too lazy, immoral and trifling to do anything productive for themselves.

This man is single-handedly helping to spread racism by reaffirming in the minds of people who are already racist that they are right to be racist. What an asshole.

All Americans must tell blacks this truth. It was blacks' moral poverty - not their material poverty - that cost them dearly in New Orleans. Farrakhan, Jackson, and other race hustlers are to be repudiated - they will only perpetuate this problem by stirring up hatred and applauding moral corruption. New Orleans, to the extent it is to be rebuilt, should be remade into a dependency-free, morally strong city where corruption is opposed and success is applauded. Blacks are obligated to help themselves and not depend on the government to care for them. We are all obligated to tell them so.

The Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson is founder and president of BOND, the Brotherhood Organization of A New Destiny, and author of "Scam: How the Black Leadership Exploits Black America."

NaNoWriMo

2005-10-06T15:59:00.000-07:00

National Novel Writing Month is November. The link and graphic at the right will take you to the site to register during the month of October for the event. For this event, you're encouraged to write a 50,000 word short novel (they avoid the word "novella" on aesthetic grounds). If you make the goal, you are a winner of the competition, and the book remains yours no matter how you finish.

Join in and write!

Plugging Along

2005-10-05T10:26:00.000-07:00

My daughter was married a little over a week ago. It was her second wedding. I was not invited.

I'm not sure what to think. Self-pity works its way in, but such negative feelings are only reinforcement that I, in some way, may have deserved the lack of an invitation.

More than anything, I'm perplexed. As with any parent-child relationship, there are rocky points along the way, but I'm rather unsure of why I became persona non grata in her life. I know that if I was a vindictive man, I would have sufficient reason to treat her this way, but I don't see where her anger is coming from.

In early 2004, she had a minor collision in a parking lot in her car and left the scene of the accident. I found out a month later when the other car owner contacted me, as the co-owner due to co-signing the loan, to arrange payment. I confronted her but was assured that she was being falsely accused. I encouraged the other party to contact her directly to work it out.

Turns out, there is video evidence of the collision, and my daughter was lying to me. Kids lie to their parents all the time. I can take it, but this put me at financial risk. What was so unnecessary here was that there was no ticket involved (it was on private property), and her insurance would pay if they only knew about it, and I knew her insurance was up to date because her mom ensured the payments were mailed. After six months of back and forth, I found out her insurance information and provided it to the other party myself.

Around April of the same year, she accused her mother's husband of making a pass at her (curiously, he was welcomed to the wedding). While I wasn't sure she was being honest (he had some history, but it just didn't feel true), I offerred her the benefit of the doubt and gave her a bedroom to use.

She lived with me, occasionally cleaning, but usually just spending her time away from home. She became pregnant and had an abortion (by the supervisor she was accused of having a relationship which, to me, she vehemently denied). Then she just disappeared. At one point, I left her a voice mail asking why she never came around any more.

When I refinanced my home, I had to pay off her loan, but because I'm not well off, I needed her to pay me back. This was the point where she disappeared, though I thought it was a coincidence. Fearing that she may be doing drugs (she has some history of it), I decided to change the locks on my house to make sure she didn't come in while I was gone (it was now a month since I last saw her).

One day, while away at a football game, she came to my house to remove her things. Since the key to the front door didn't work, she used the garage remote that I had neglected to reprogram. All of her stuff was gone as well as a significant amount of my things (a DVR, a stereo, a dresser). I called her (got her voice mail, of course) and told her to return my things or face prosecution. I was never unfair, and the only time I got upset was when she stole from me. To protect my interests, I even turned over the car to her giving her the ability to stiff me on the loan with no legal recourse for me (though I did not forgive her loan).

I know why I would have every reason to be upset with her, but as near as I can tell, her best reason to be upset with me is that I did not allow her to steal everything she wanted to steal. Maybe it's just a misdirection. Maybe she feels guilty about stiffing me on the loan and would rather lose a father than pay back the money.

I'm a nice guy. Nice guys finish last.

I'm Offended

2005-09-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

Though more in a Dangerfield kind of way than any other.

My father and I shoot pool in a couple of leagues every Thursday night (one is eight ball, the other is nine ball). I'm not very good. I seem to have a problem shooting straight and sure need to fix that problem.

We used to have a player on our team who was very, very good. Wes had a handicap of 7 (which in APA is quite good). But for the last few months, Wes has been a no-show. That's unfortunate because in addition to shooting quite well, he was great to be around, always ready with a good joke and a quick eye for local scenery (if you know what I mean).

But now the best handicap on our team is Jason with a 6. Last Thursday, Jason and I were talking about Wes, and Jason noted that were it not for Wes' advice, he, Jason, would not be as good as he is now. I offered that if Jason wanted to pass on any of that sage advice, I would appreciate the help, to which Jason added that the help could not substitute for raw talent.

Ouch.

And now, my goal is to be able to beat Jason by the end of the Winter Session.

True Love

2005-09-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

"Wuv. That bwessed awangement. That dweam within a dweam." - The Princess Bride

If there is anyone on the planet who has read my posts, you know that I acknowledge that feature of politics where people hold onto beliefs even when the premise for their belief is proven wrong.

I'm a nerd. I'm proud of being a nerd. It is one of my defining characteristics, but I'm proud to say that I'm not a typical nerd, incapable of grasping the big picture for want of defining the small one. One of my nerdly enterprises is that of host for a discussion group for fans of high definition television in Arizona. With over 150 members, I'd say we're a successful group.

Anyway, a recent post indicated that one of our members was upset with how KNXV was responding to problems with their HD broadcast and other members came to their defense lauding them for the great job they do otherwise. The original poster was upset and compared it to President Bush giving an "Atta-Boy" to then FEMA Director Michael Brown.

A Bush supporter took exception to the suggestion that Brown had done anything wrong. Not wanting it to escalate in the group, and because I like that particular Bush supporter, I began to engage him in debate about the subject.

I was on fire. The argument ranged all over. And when it moved to the subject of the PIPA report on beliefs about Iraq, I thought I had him. You see, it's my opinion that if Fox viewers would just get their news from a channel that doesn't lie, they might determine themselves to be liberals. The best line of the report is, "Most striking, in the case of those who primarily watched Fox news, greater attention to news modestly increases the likelihood of misperceptions." But to no avail.

No matter what argument I made, the hurricane problems were at least as much Clinton's fault as Bush's. And anyway, the local government really dropped the ball. And the war in Iraq is keeping us safe. And tax cuts are good for the economy. In other words, he repeated the many opinions of Fox News Channel.

Our country may be doomed.

Morally Corrupt

2005-09-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

With a sideways glance to Jerry Falwell, I point to fundamentalist Christians in America, and I say you allowed this to happen.

I was raised a Southern Baptist. Growing up attending Valwood Park Baptist Church (our youth director from that time is now the church's pastor), Brother Joe delivered sermons that served to teach us to be better humans. I don't know if that church has changed any since we moved to Arizona 25 years ago, but the notable teachings of prominent men of faith in the recent past make me wonder why Christians support these people.

Normally, I find myself noting that I am too insignificant (and outside the belief system) to suggest that I could speak for God, but I have a number of messages for the people attending megachurches in this country.

God does not care about the Mexican-American border. I am continually amazed at how the people who are so angry about illegal aliens can simultaneously claim to be Christians.
God does not want us to invade other countries, and He does not care whether or not we win.
God is not anti-science. Assuming that God created the universe, He would have had to also create the evidence used in science. If scientists are wrong, He'll get over it.
God did not spare your life in the disaster you averted. To thank God for not killing you in Katrina or at the World Trade Center suggests that God just didn't care about the thousands of lives that were snuffed out.
God is not a Republican. Just because the religious wackos of our generation, in the US, happen to be Republican does not make God one. If Jesus was on earth today, he would be a liberal.
God does not want your church spending your tithes on big screen monitors so the worship experience can be mind boggling. To that end, He also does not want you spending that money on political rallies. Spend the money on helping the needy.
God does not want a Starbucks at the church. Jesus drove the money changers from the temple, not because he prefers coffee, but because he did not want a house of worship to be used as a money making enterprise.
God wants you speak out against people who say terrible things in His name. When Falwell blames 9/11 on abortionists and gays, it's time to distance yourself from him. When Robertson calls for a murder, it's time to remember what the Ten Commandments have supposedly taught you.
God doesn't care whether or not gay marriage is legal. Not a single Christian will be forced into a gay marriage if it is legal. Christians should lead by example, not opression.

I have a suspicion about these megachurches. I suspect that they are havens for the well to do who, knowing that it is easier for the camel to pass through they eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into Heaven, have decided instead to create churches that remind them how hoarding money is the path to God.

The Taliban are alive and well in America. Only here we call them evangelical Christians.

Honesty

2005-09-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

It's a little hard to come by. And, by the way, I'm not claiming any monopoly on the commodity, but when I'm watching the news, I'd rather have honest discourse.

Why do I bring this up?

We all know what Katrina (I sure feel sorry for any children named Katrina) has done to gas prices already, but on Tuesday (8/30), I was driving out to Surprise because I needed something from my daughter. As I drove, I listened to Ted Simonds of KTAR report on the rumors of hard to come by gas in the Valley. He passed on the assurances that he received that there was no general shortage, but that stations buying on the spot market (generally the independent stations and grocery stores of all sizes) would have trouble due to a slight decrease in availability.

Hogwash. This morning I drive in and notice name brand stations running out as well. I suspected the reassurances were merely a method of preventing panic over a bad situation, so on my way to work yesterday, I stopped at my local Safeway to buy gas at 2.679. Today, the local QT is at 2.999 (at least it was this morning).

I don't tend to be an alarmist, but were in for some real trouble here.

No Wonder the War Still Has Supporters

2005-08-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

The anti-Cindy Sheehan caravan passed through Phoenix last night. The local right-wing fanatic radio station held a rally at Arriba Mexican Grill at Arrowhead Mall.

The coverage was rather troubling since the only anti-war mentions were the referential description of Cindy and an incendiary quote from a Tempe resident who was confronted by some of the war mongers. His statement was that the United States was the world's biggest terrorist. While the paper reported that he backed off his statement, I think it is still worth some consideration.

Our president is intent on characterizing our battles in Iraq as being battles with terrorists, but were the same situation to occur in our country, we would be calling them freedom fighters or the resistance. The point of terrorism is to scare the opponent into submission. Certainly, given that the stated reasons for our going into Iraq were lies, we are as guilty of terrorism as anyone who was then living in Iraq, probably more so. Remember, here, that this does not involve Al Qaeda since they were not in Iraq until after we destabilized their government.

To the question of do I define our fallen soldiers as terrorists? No. But neither do I define Iraqi insurgents as terrorists.

To the thoroughly ignorant mantra of the war mongers, that they hate us for our freedom: if you believe that even now, you are beyond hope. Our only remaining hope is that people with more developed brains can find a way to quell the voices of the stupid. If you're on the fence on that count, remember that if they truly hate us for our freedom, then the only path to victory is extermination.

And if that's our goal, then perhaps they hate us for something different.

Wise Words

2005-08-17T16:01:00.000-07:00

The Daily Kos has provided us with words of wisdom provided by prominent Republicans. My favorite is the last one. I think I'll make it my email signature.

"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the President to explain to us what the exit strategy is." --Governor George W. Bush (R-TX) from April 1999 as a caution to President Clinton upon committing troops to Kosovo.

Crisis?

2005-08-09T10:23:00.000-07:00

Ah, the warm sounds of Simon and Garfunkel. As I type this, I'm listening to "America" by the duo.

I feel the need to redefine my life. Is this a mid-life crisis, or does my life really suck as much as I fear? I have a home (with probably the only 9.375% loan around). I have a car, but I appear to owe more than I should.

I have a daughter who wants nothing to do with me. I don't think it's my fault, but I certainly haven't done much to stop the situation taking the point of view that I've spent too much of my life trying to meet her halfway, and the only analogy I can come up with is: we start a mile apart, and I come up halfway. Seeing this effort, we meet halfway between the two points: I've travelled 3/4 of a mile, she 1/4. And that's okay once, twice, maybe even three times. But eventually, you look at that mile to walk and decide that it's her turn to take the hike toward me.

I live in a country that once made me proud but now mostly is an embarrassment to the world. Yet the people I often come in contact with wear their disdain for others as a badge of honor. I want to crawl in a hole and just hide sometimes.

So I need to reorganize my life. Firstly, I need to stop watching TV. It's turning my mind to mush and feeding my anger over political issues I am powerless to control. So that's my goal for the next 24 hours. No TV, but exercise vigorously. More later.

Poor Decisions

2005-07-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

I should never have tried to go into business for myself.

At my previous job, we needed (or thought we needed) a professional technician to troubleshoot a switch. The problem was misdiagnosed, and an insufficient solution, at a cost of over $900, was implemented. Two days later, an additional $600 was necessary to solve the real problem. I thought that if someone could be successful and simultaneously unethical, how much better would an ethical business fare?

I don't know the answer. I could sarcastically say that it would fare worse, but the truth is that I am not the best of businessmen. I fell for a credit card scam to the tune of $8000. I bit off more than I could chew with a $2500 per month yellow pages ad. Well, many many thousands of dollars later, bankruptcy and I will soon be a joint unit.

I suspect that family woes will be the next thing to suffer since by filing, I leave the business failures to the other partner, my pop. Time to make the best decision available to me right now.

Oh, the Stories!

2005-07-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

As I added a title to this entry, I realized that the "Oh, the..." construct is a repeat for me. Allow me this opportunity to plug the wonderful Al Franken book, "Oh, the Things I Know!".

As I've noted before, whether the things in life that happen are good or bad, the stories they generate create their value.

Apparently, there is a very popular site, recently purchased by Rupert Murdoch, called http://myspace.com. Similar to this blogging site, you can tell people things about you, but that site collects together messaging, profiling, and elements of homepages that are easier to manipulate than an HTML editor and are more static (and yet community based) than a standard weblog.

My daughter has a page there. It has a picture of her as well as a description that includes the acronym, "OMFG." My daughter scolds me whenever an expletive escapes my mouth. Those days are over now. The dancing penis on the page was kind of a put-off as well. When confronted, she was rather proud of the silly icon. Hmmm. At least it's another story to tell.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2005-07-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

Ignore the less than stellar reviews. This was a fun movie, even if you've seen Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Everyone knows the story, so it's pointless to summarize. While it doesn't veer as far off the story as the 1971 film (noting that Roald Dahl wrote the screenplay for it), it still has unique moments, one of which had me laughing well into the next scene. If you haven't seen it yet, it's the scene where young Willie must leave a building because it's closing time. I sure love a good sight gag.

How Do You Use a Mouse?

2005-07-19T11:14:00.000-07:00

I've had a computer repair business, but apparently, I'm incapable of controlling my mouse clicks to ensure that I don't delete things I care about. I used to be a part of a group Weblog called "Solving Every World Problem" (creatingutopia) but in my attempt to delete a Disney/Arizona related weblog, I accidentally deleted one that I cared about.

Perhaps it's for the best. I'm now down to two logs (http://azcardinals.blogspot.com and this one), so I can focus my meandering thoughts on less real estate.

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

2005-07-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

I am of two minds. The first says that since no one is likely to ever read any of these posts, it really doesn't matter whether or not I write anything. The other says that this, someday, will be my legacy.

But back to writing. A month has passed since my last post, and with each passing day, I grow to relish the day when I can live my life in relative solitude.

Early June consisted of regular battles with my family over my level of cleanliness. Mid June was dominated by Katie's gift of a dog for Fathers' Day, as usual in the vein of how its presence constituted a failure on my part.

Late June turned into a reminder of my relative importance to the family. I wish I could end it all (in the contract severing meaning of the phrase).

Sister Knows Best

2005-06-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

I wish I could get worked up over politics again. At least with politics, there is hope for overall change in the future.

My sister invited me to church yesterday. She knows I'm agnostic, but as so many evangelical Christians do, she assumes that this is a temporary illness that she can cure. I politely reminded her that:

I am not a Christian.
Among Christian churches, I especially dislike megachurches such as the one she attends.
I would rather listen to Tim Russert asking questions than some preacher telling me what is and is not moral.

Maybe she is coming around to acceptance. While at Disneyland, I annoyed her with my biblical knowledge. My daughter and I discussed the rich and the unlikelihood of their entering Heaven (at least according to Jesus). We discussed the presence of Starbucks inside a church, especially as it relates to the story of Jesus driving the money changers from the temple.

We then moved on to Leviticus 18 and its discussion of who men may not have sex with. Not your mom, your dad's wife, your sister, your dad's wife's daughter, your granddaughter, your aunt, your daughter-in-law, your neighbor's wife, your wife's sister (side note here: you may have sex with your wife's sister after your wife dies), any man, any animal and no threesomes with a woman and her daughter (what sort of threesome does the bible approve of?). As I have said elsewhere, if you qualify to be on Jerry Springer, you should be shot (and yes, the designated punishment for all but the aunt arrangement is death to both parties).

True believers should never argue with cynics.

Disneyland and Back

2005-06-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

I took a trip to Disneyland last weekend.

Thanks to the Disney Vacation Club, I was able to overspend on a room and not feel the immediate pain. In other words, we stayed at a concierge level room at Disney's Grand Californian. In terms of point value, I paid over $400 per night. In terms of cash out of pocket, I paid nothing.

My sister came along for the ride, so it was bound to be entertaining. We were on an excessively tight budget. When I mentioned the trip to her, I cautioned that I could not afford to pay their way. To her credit, she paid most of her way. The only cost to me was her habits.

I told her to be ready to leave on Friday by 3pm. At a quarter past, I called to warn her that I was on my way. She protested that I had told her 4pm. She was ready at 4:30.

I have to learn to enjoy life on my own. Sharing gives me gray hairs.

Stories

2005-05-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

I tell stories. It's a habit I have. For instance:

I'm divorced. Now I'm not going to tell you that I'm the greatest catch ever, but when my wife left me, she said she still loved me, she just wasn't in love with me. I think I should have kept her away from that stupid Madison County book.

Brief Aside: For the two people in the world who don't know its story (I've not seen the movie, but I read the book), it's a touching story about an Italian WWII war bride with a Master's education living as a farmer's wife who has a torrid affair while the rest of the family is off showing stuff at the state fair. We're supposed to sympathize with the woman who makes the honorable choice of staying with the husband she loves but feels no passion for and the lover who becomes a legend for having loved only one woman (and only for a week or so) through the entire course of his life. Man was that a stupid book.

But I digress. She left me for a drug addict who was dead with a few weeks of our split. Attempting to mirror the theme of that stupid story, she revealed that this guy was the true love of her life (why she thought I wanted to hear that, I don't know).

Within a year, she was married again, but four years into that marriage, she got happy feet again. One day, having heard from me that she has a problem with commitment, she asked her best friend if it was true. Her friend at first agreed that she had a problem, then redefined the question, saying that if she didn't have a problem with it, it wasn't a problem. I countered that Jeffrey Dahmer probably didn't have a problem with eating humans.

But I tell this story because I have a point to make. At right, you can see the Media Matters for America story listing. Yesterday, they reported on an NBC Nightly News story about alleged bias at PBS. The problem is that their own article was a bit off. It stated that the story did not contradict the suggestion that PBS was biased. But in this case, I had seen the story and was impressed that they did, indeed, cover both sides of the story. Something was amiss.

I posted a comment suggesting that the story was in error and included a link to the transcript for comparison. The responses to this included a comment that since a particular group was quoted without explicitly stating their conservative backing, that this was a case of media laziness. In other words, when the question was difficult to answer, they restated the parameters. Sadly, in this case, Media Matters acted like my ex-wife.

I Need to Escape Reality

2005-05-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

So perhaps all of my hair pulling could be averted by immersing myself in the alternate reality of the Happiest Place on Earth. Watch out world! Disneyland, here I come. I can only imagine what sort of tripe you'll be hearing from me after that stop.

Sieg Heil

2005-05-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

It is yet another dark day in our quickly vanishing republic.

In the great, grand scheme of things, the filibuster is something that seems, somehow, wrong. The point of deliberative bodies is to deliberate and chose based on a majority, so if a particular item is subject to a 50%+ vote, it seems appropriate for that to happen. Unfortunately, that has never been the case.

Perhaps I should simply acknowledge that Republicans now control this country. Perhaps what we need to do is allow the immenent failure to occur, then we can fix what is left of our country.

Here's the problem: as Democrats, we keep working to prevent the stupidity of our opponents, sometimes with small successes. But imagine what would happen if we stopped complaining about the redistribution of wealth from the middle class to the upper class. The economy would tank, the country would find itself in a depression, but at least the voters would understand why their votes were so insane.

At the very least, this agreement to end the filibuster seems, to me, quite stupid. In it, Democrats promised only to filibuster for extreme cases, and Republicans promised not to go nuclear as long as Democrats hold to their word.

Question 1: Which of the people that Republicans allowed out of committee would they consider to be extreme? And if they agreed that the people were extreme, why did they vote to allow the person out of committee?

Question 2: When have the Democrats threatened to filibuster someone they did not think was extreme?

The only thing this "compromise" accomplished was to grease the process for some extreme judges.

One More Link

2005-05-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

Just another quick note to give a more expansive link to Galloway's comments. George Galloway: you are my hero.

What a Day That Was

2005-05-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

So first we get George Galloway responding to claims by Norm Coleman that he was taking advantage of the oil for food program. He did such a good job vocalizing the very thoughts on the minds of so many liberals. Have a listen. Finally, someone has the guts to tell the senator and his cohorts that the damage done to the world is due to their own negligence.

Part of his story involves the fact that Coleman was accusing him of benefiting illegally from the UN program, but as this article states, even if the allegations are true, Colemen is curiously ignoring the largest participant. I wonder why.

If you stay with the page that I referenced above, you also will note a story by Keith Olbermann of MSNBC. If you've already closed the window, consider reading his essay on the subject.

As I say to my daughter on a regular basis. Remember the times you are living in. History will want to know how this happened.

I Can't Win

2005-05-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

So I had another of my deep discussions with my sister. In each discussion, I make valid points about the manipulation of intelligence, the needless waste of life and other maladies of the Iraq war.

Her argument this time? Sometimes you just have to go with your hunch.

It reminded me of a discussion I had years ago. I live in Arizona. Quite some time back, we briefly had a governor named Evan Mecham. To celebrate winning the office (and to try to pay off his campaign debts), Mecham held an inauguration party and took up a collection. While the attendees had intended to contribute to his campaign, the attorney general ruled that it was an official function and could not be used for raising funds. Mecham went on to make a number of ill advised statements that suggested that he was racist and sexist. Well, when he was run out in a recall election, charges of misuse of funds were filed. During the trial, his attorney objected to virtually everything and was virtually always shot down. Discussing this with a family member, I heard the contention that the judge was out to get Mecham. I suggested this was quite unlikely and was told that I was wrong because I was too young to know the truth (I was in my mid '20s).

Getting back to the original point, it appears that war with other countries is justified if you're the President and you've got a hunch about them.

Wow. Ignorance like that is hard to combat.

Family: The Source of All Anxiety

2005-05-10T09:13:00.000-07:00

A sibling is now sharing my home with me.

She is intelligent, but she is also a fundamentalist Christian who is oblivious to what those of her persuasion are doing to our country.

On the news (everywhere) that nine church congregants were excommunicated for their political beliefs (after all, every good Republican knows that God is a Republican), I tried to point out that attitudes like these are dangerous for our country.

Unfortunately, we have a new religion in this country, and it is Conservativism. How do you make the members of the American equivalent to the Taliban understand who they are so they may change.

My Republican Friends

2005-05-05T15:29:00.000-07:00

I was having lunch today with some people who were quite Republican indeed. They, good-naturedly, ribbed me about being a liberal.

We discussed the Pledge of Allegience. As any student of the Pledge will know, the words "under God" were not added until 1954. And when Eisenhower signed the legislation, he pointed out that it was good that we were now making the statement that our country's existence was thanks to the Almighty. Sounds like an establishment of religion to me.

We discussed the war in Iraq. We were in agreement that the war was a poor decision.

We discussed abortion. My friends were not aware that the abortion rate, under Clinton, steadily declined while under Bush, the rate has steadily increased.

To the rest of my Republican friends: contrary to the beliefs of one Rev. Robertson, liberals are not more dangerous than Al-Qaeda, Naziism or the U.S. Civil War. For the most part, liberals believe much like you do. Where we have differences, consider that liberals, by and large, want the same things you do. We don't want people having abortions, we want to protect the ability to practice religion, we want to keep our country safe from terrorism.

Just consider other solutions...

Welcome to the Twilight Zone

2005-04-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

It's fascinating to observe the political world right now.

It seems that reality depends upon point of view. I know that I have a liberal bias in my observations, but one of my observations is that conservatives don't seem to realize that they, too, have a significant bias in their observations. What's worse is that, so often, the sources they rely upon tell such flagrant lies. Yet while these people are lying, no one on the right ever questions them.

What world are they living in?

In the leadup to the war with Iraq, I recall telling people that I distrusted and wanted verification of the President's words. The common response was that the President has access to information the rest of us don't. People are dying needlessly. What will it take to open the eyes of conservatives?

It Isn't About a Team, It's About Doing the Right Thing

2005-04-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

A very conservative friend of mine accused me the other day of not having scruples. He suggested that my liberal views are more due to rooting for my team than a belief in the underlying principles I espouse.

Ah, point the finger and you find three pointing back at you.

Do I support everything in the Democratic Party platform? Of course not. I am disappointed by recent suggestions that the minority party compromise on what Frist called the "Nuclear Option." When we all were being told (and I believed) that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, I still disapproved of the war on the grounds that it would make people, who previously only had vague reasons to hate us, very sound reasons to hate us and make war.

Meanwhile, my friend still clings to the notion that Saddam was out to get us. Talk about being a homer.

Yesterday, I had America Left playing on my XM radio in my car. At 7pm, as usual, the system switched to the feed of the Alan Colmes show (Al may have played nice with him as a guest, but as an occasional listener to his radio show, Al's observations are still dead on, and Alan can't blame Sean and the show format for his timid presence). During the broadcast, the news reports come from USA Radio Network News. I had some problems with the reports.

When discussing Social Security, the newscaster characterized the demonstrations as being liberals out to stop the plan but did not mention the conservative rally also held. He then played the tape of the GOP stressing the need to solve the problem now and followed by stating that Democrats want to raise taxes and reduce benefits. Then he played a tape of Bush speaking at length about how the program will be safe for current retirees and that if his plan is not enacted, that filing cabinet will just get more IOUs. If this was the only news I ever received, I would love the president's plan as well.

In another report, he talked about the most recent Duelfer report on WMD. Most media outlets reported that this report indicated that there is no evidence to support the contention that weapons were sent to Syria. This report made no mention of Syria but made a point of saying that Saddam intended to restart his programs when he could.

How sad that there are so many Americans who get their news from such an unreliable source. Sadder still: they are carried on Armed Forces Radio. Nothing like keeping the troops in the dark.

To my friends on the right (and I have friends on the right): please just consider that you have been misled. Accept the possibility that your media source is not providing the whole story. Just because a media source does not show tendencies for your point of view does not make them biased against you. Consider the possibility that your beliefs are based on false information.

I Live for Excitement

2005-04-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

Odd experiences follow me.

This morning, I arrived at work to find our driveway blocked by the local ABC affiliate's news van. It seems that some people in the houses across the street from where I work were dealing drugs and making counterfeit money. The producer of the piece apologized for being in my way. I told him that we knew it was coming (twice now I've run into an undercover police officer watching the homes). He offerred to put me on TV to answer questions about the neighbors, but I would be of no use to them.

Another day, another adventure.

Ain't Politics Great?!

2005-04-21T12:01:00.000-07:00

For those who are not political fans like me, you may not be noticing this weeks flare up over the honesty of Ann Coulter. As an Al Franken fan, I enjoyed his chapter titles for the second and third chapters of Lies: And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, "Ann Coulter: Nutcase", and "You Know Who I Don't Like? Ann Coulter".

Media Matters has taken on a few of the points of the article here. But between the author, the subject, Media Matters and Eric Alterman at MSNBC, it's developing into a quite a sideshow. Oh, and if you want to read the original article (assuming it's still available), well you'd have to subscribe to a magazine that would allow so error filled an article to be its cover story. I recommend your local library.

Misconceptions

2005-04-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

On the way into work today, I listened to Jerry Springer talk about guns and how, if the Democrats want to start winning elections, perhaps the gun issue should be tabled.

I think he is believing a fallacy advanced by the NRA. He seems to be coming from a standpoint of liberals wanting the complete elimination of guns in our society. While certainly there are some outlandish examples of such liberalism, it would be more accurate to say that we simply want reasonable gun laws in the country. For instance, no one needs a gun capable of penetrating a tank. It is not unreasonable to ask that people on a terrorism watch list at least be given a more thorough investigation if they want to buy a gun. And seeing as how we track each and every automobile purchase, why is it so terrible that we keep track of gun ownership?

Sensible laws can aid in law enforcement while allowing responsible gun owners to continue to enjoy their hobby unabated.

All that said, I'm not sure where I would differ from Democrats in general, and I sure would hope that the passing of reasonable laws would not be totally sacrificed just for the goal of winning on other points.

Hatred

2005-04-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am not a perfect person.

I have been known to fly off the handle and for completely unreasonable issues.

Over the weekend, I had to fix a couple of computers, but they were giving me troubles. It was at this time that I was paid a visit to discuss vacation plans. It seems that my vacation plans, in a small way, hinge on the summer travel plans of my ex. I'm fine with that. Others in my family are not. My punishment for not being angry enough was to be forced to listen to a litany of reasons to hate my ex. Adding to the level of that conversation was the fact that I simply cannot bring myself to hate someone for wanting to spend time with family.

I know I'm rambling (to protect the innocent...well sort of innocent). In the movie, "A Patch of Blue", Sidney Poitier's character is asked by Selena why he wears sunglasses. He says that he's intolerant. To clarify, "I'm intolerant of folks' intolerance." That line has stayed with me. I long for the day when tolerance and understanding are more common.

As to my vacation plans, well they're up in the air.

A Must Read

2005-04-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to reading Ted Rall's latest column (when you click the link, be sure to go to his April 12, 2005 column). When I read his columns, I wonder why I appear to be the only human who can find them. Let me explain.

Mr. Rall (may I call him Ted?) has been known to offend even me. I am quite the fan of the Arizona Cardinals and was rooting for Pat Tillman (and bought my Tillman jersey) long before his patriotism ended his tragically short life. Ted (apparently, I've decided I can call him Ted) has made points about Tillman's all too eagar attitude toward heading out to fight an enemy without applying a moral compass.

That said, the columns Ted has written should challenge the intelligent reader to reconsider his or her viewpoints on our involvement in both Afghanistan and Iraq. Yet the mainstream press (many member of which can actually read) seems oblivious to the possibility that our country's leadership may be directing us down a dangerous path through quite artistic deception.

Read the article. And for what it's worth, acknowledging that this is not a news column nor is it likely crawled by Google, here's to patriotic cartoonist Ted Rall.

Rodney's Kids

2005-04-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

So the NFL has published its schedule for the 2005 season. In a very publicized move, the Cardinals will be playing a game in early October in Mexico City against the NFL's worst team, the 49ers. It will be the only nationally televised game for Arizona this year.

Sure there are a couple of games at Sun Devil Stadium that are slated for potential double header showcase on CBS or Fox, but this year, as has been true for some time now, Arizona will be invisible to most NFL fans.

I am personally offended, and the fans are being let short; not being able to see this year's breakout Super Bowl winner until the post season.

Movie Review: First Pitch

2005-04-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

This movie speaks to me!

For the oddest of reasons, there have been occasions in my past where a movie has had an unexpected payload for me. Notably, "The Truman Show" spoke to a feeling I had when I was a child that I had returned to an alternate family after running away from home. You see, when you're six years old (or was I five?), and the world is a very big place, Twilight Zone ideas creep into your mind.

But I digress. Twice this past weekend I viewed the Jimmy Fallon/Drew Barrymore film "Fever Pitch" at my local theater. I watched as our protagonist slept on his Red Sox pillows, wore his Red Sox jerseys, celebrated the arrival of his Red Sox tickets, and tried to explain why it was important to him that he study the team for positional analysis despite the fact that the Red Sox have, so far, failed to consult him. What a wonderful story about a passionate fan. Now it's time for the Arizona Cardinals to reward me.

Reason and Emotion

2005-04-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

I've come to realize that my views on the world do not match those of most of my friends and family. I've had times when I've wondered if this is a fault of my own or if I'm truly surrounded by terribly misguided people. A year ago, the New York Times reported on a research study (Bob Schieffer's opinion on it, for those who don't want to pay for an archived story is here) that found that people's brains interpret political information based on the political message being sent. Conservatives and liberals alike with analyze information in the portion of the brain that handles emotion and love when someone of their own ilk is providing the message while their critical reasoning centers kick in when the opposition party speaks. This doesn't mean that people are unable to critically examine the words of their own party, but it suggests that the stupidity of something must be significantly high to bridge the barrier of love.

Caveat time: anyone who knows me knows that I am a liberal, so read on at your own risk.

This has had an unfortunate impact on our society. Since the emotional centers will cry out for the words of those who provide comfort, those in our society who tend to fall on the conservative side have a very loving partner to provide their message in Fox News. And like any considerate lover, Fox happily provides the constant reinforcement that their love is appreciated in the form of reports and discussions that rarely diverge from the message their viewers want to see. Even when Fox is forced to admit that a conservative is behaving poorly (such as the impending trouble for Tom DeLay), like any loving partner, Fox couches the critique in words that open no wounds. Why would any of their viewers ever tune in to hear Brian Williams report that the conservative talking points on the Schaivo bill were, indeed, drafted by a Republican when they can instead go to Fox to hear that the uncredited talking points were drafted by a now disgraced former assistant to a Florida senator.

Disgraceful indeed.

Liberals have, for some time, been wondering how to get their message out. I have no answer. Sadly, the only way to get the message to those who need to hear is to deliver it through their lover, and devoted lovers are loathe to bring those words into the relationship.

Moving to Start

2005-04-07T16:46:00.000-07:00

If anyone sees this post, I'll be amazed.

If you choose to view/comment, I'll follow along as best I can. The posts will follow my normal method of talking ultra liberal, bringing up HDTV related stuff, and being a shill for Disney theme parks.

Until later...